He first came to see me weary and guarded, but beneath that was a man longing for change. Years of methamphetamine addiction and prison experiences had left him emotionally bruised. He was trying to rebuild, to be a better father, to regain trust, to hold onto hope.
He had children he adored and a partner who was also struggling with addiction. When Child Safety became involved, it was because life had become too unsafe. He understood this, even as it broke him.
A Mother’s Strength
Throughout it all, his mother stood beside him. Fierce in her love and tireless in her hope, she visited him in prison, brought photos of his children, and held onto faith when few others could. She loved her son deeply, but the years had taken their toll. The sleepless nights, the police calls, the constant worry, they had left her anxious, hypervigilant, and filled with guilt she didn’t deserve.
She began EMDR therapy to process her own trauma, not because she had given up on him, but because she needed to survive loving someone in the grip of addiction. Through her sessions, she worked through years of fear, helplessness, and the shame of feeling like she hadn’t done enough.
In one session she said quietly, “I can’t fix him, but I can try to heal me.”
When Addiction Wins
Her son continued to struggle. At times he would reconnect with therapy, and there were moments of light, times when he spoke about wanting to be clean, to see his children, to make his mum proud. But as the addiction took hold again, he began to pull away.
Eventually, he stopped coming altogether. The silence that followed was heavy.
Some years later, he ended his life.
The Aftermath of Love and Loss
There are few words for a grief like that. For his mother, it was as though the world stopped. Yet, the work she had done through EMDR helped her navigate those first unbearable months. She could acknowledge the pain without drowning in it. She could remember him as more than his addiction, as the boy who used to make her laugh, as the man who tried, as her son who was deeply loved.
Her healing didn’t erase her loss, but it allowed her to keep living.
A Legacy of Compassion
Now, she tells her story to others, not as a cautionary tale, but as a message of love, strength, and the power of healing. She often says, “If I hadn’t done the therapy before he died, I don’t think I would’ve survived after.”
Her son’s story is a reminder that addiction is not a lack of willpower, it’s a symptom of deep pain. And her story reminds us that even when love can’t save someone, it can still heal what remains.
Support and Help Lines
- Lifeline 13 11 14
- 24/7 crisis support, suicide prevention
- Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
- Free nationwide phone, online & video counselling 24/7
- National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015
- Free, confidential info & support, available 24/7 (note: in South Australia hours are limited: 8:30 am – 10:00 pm)
- Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
- 24/7 for anxiety, depression, mental health support
- Family Drug Support Australia 1300 368 186
- Support for families / friends of people using substances